TSA and their "enhanced pat-downs"

FOURTH AMENDMENT 
'The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.'


There's been a great deal of controversy in the news regarding the new security measures the Transportation Security Agency has put in place at airports across the nation. The TSA has a blog post about one part of the new procedures, entitled "Enhanced pat-downs".

Here's one commenter's question and comment:

Very simple question: Does TSA pat-down training involve placing of the hands in any position where contact with the breasts, vagina, penis or scrotum will occur?

Regardless of intent, if the screener does not ASK and OBTAIN verbal or written permission prior to making contact with the genitals, a sexual assault has taken place. That is the law in all 50 states.

You see, while there is a blog that one would think might explain the procedure, it essentially just says "yeah, so this is the thing we're doing. Don't worry. We're cool." Others may disagree.

The following is a response I wrote for the TSA blog "Enhanced pat-downs". I thought I'd post it here just in case it didn't get approved by the moderators. Oh, and I'm not making up the name Rapiscan - that's the ACTUAL name. Wonder if it's pronounced "rape-i-scan".

TSA needs to give a VERY SPECIFIC, step-by-step description of the new "enhanced pat-down" procedure on the official TSA website. I want to read the truth of what one can expect if one "opts out" of the Rapiscan in explicit detail. It might read something like this.:

First, we will have you stand with your legs spread. Then, we will touch the inner and outer areas of your ankles, calves, thighs, buttocks and genitals. We will continue by touching your torso, including your breasts. If you have big breasts, we will lift them up so we can feel under them. We may squeeze your breasts "for the sake of security" as well. We will intimately touch your face and hair. We don't know why in the hell we have to caress your face, but the boss is making us do it, so there you go. If you are a child, you are not exempt from our touching you intimately. 

We will essentially touch you in ways that, were we someone else, anywhere else, we would be arrested for assault. However, we are above the law here at the airport security line, and cannot be charged with sexual assault.

Furthermore, if you refuse to let us fondle your "private" areas, you will not only be unable to proceed to your flight, you are also required to not leave until we allow you to do so. And even when you leave with some of us escorting you, we can fine you. 

Really, we just want everyone to be safe. We don't care if you are traumatized. We don't care that you are losing your freedoms as an American citizen. George W. Bush put this in place so 9/11 could never happen again, and even though technically we really haven't stopped any terrorists with these procedures we will keep tightening security until the airlines go out of business because no one wants the hassle and the indignity of going through security. And in that way, we will ensure our safety. No operating planes means nobody can hijack planes. So see? We WILL win the war against terror! Huzzah!

So what do YOU think of the new scanning machines? Of the enhanced pat-downs? Have you seen any of the footage of the toddler getting a pat-down? How do you feel about the prospect of you or someone you love getting essentially sexually assaulted?

Fat - the last "acceptable" prejudice?

The interwebs are all abuzz about a recent blog on the Marie Claire magazine website. Go read it before continuing - it will help you understand just WHY there has been such an uproar.

There have been many VERY good counter blogs, including ones at Fatshionista, The Polymath Chronicals, and Blogger Body Calendar.

There have also been bloggers who've written, essentially, "it's not okay to make fat people feel bad, BUT being fat is a bad thing". I don't think the latter group of bloggers truly GET IT.  In these sorts of blogs I've read lines like "obesity is a death sentence". (Hint: LIVING is a death sentence, as death is the natural conclusion to life.) People have blamed fat on everything from asthma to strokes. According to the Mayo Clinic website, obesity is a risk factor for stroke. However, so are things like a family history of strokes, being in your mid-50s or older, smoking or exposure to secondhand smoke, heart defects or infections, and using birth control pills or hormone therapies that include estrogen. The Mayo Clinic site lists factors beyond obesity for asthma such as being a smoker, being exposed to secondhand smoke, having a mother who smoked while pregnant, and having a blood relative with the disease. So yes, obesity is on the list for these and other conditions. But it is by no means necessarily THE CAUSE.

Fat has become the last "acceptable" prejudice. I've no doubt in my mind if one substituted a race or religion or sexual orientation in the place of the word "fat", Marie Claire would NOT have okay'ed that blog to be published online.

I have pretty intimate knowledge of how it feels to be FAT. I have also been, at my anorexic thinnest, practically skeletal. So I know, without any doubts, that thin and fat people ARE treated differently in a myriad of ways.

I know what it's like to diet healthfully (portion control, making healthy food choices). I know what it's like to do fad diets. I know what it's like to use diet pills. At one point in my life I lived, or should I say "existed", on a handful of crackers a day! I know what it's like to exercise for 2 to 4 hours daily. To the people who say fat people have no self control, I offer up all the people who've subsisted on the grapefruit diet, the vinegar diet, and so on. Of all the people on the planet, those who've dieted - seriously dieted - have more self-control and willpower than anyone else I can think of, frankly.

My sister-in-law wrote a blog about all of this hubbub, too. She asks "Obesity: are we too accepting?" The content is well-written and comes from her heart, but I've got to admit, as much as I'm okay with myself "as-is" these days, the title set my teeth on edge as memories of the "acceptance" I've experienced in my life washed over me.

I remember walking down main street as a teenager and a pickup truck with a few boys drove by. They stuck their heads out the window to oink and moo at me.
I remember many of the times I was told - by family, by people I knew, and by strangers - that I had such a pretty face, and I'd be pretty if only I lost weight.
I remember asking people to accept that disparaging talk about size was not a topic that was okay with me, only to have them recount a story about a disgusting fat person daring to eat in public, in a restaurant, where people would have to witness this fat person eating. Eeew.
I've felt the sting of having to look for clothing in a department store whose plus size section was a couple of racks hidden in a corner, lest the thin people see us fatties shopping.
I still remember being in a maternity store who proudly claimed having "plus sizes" available, learning that their definition of plus size meant a very small selection of barely 1x items. (I was so frustrated I loudly proclaimed as I left the store "apparently fat people don't have sex and make babies!".)
I know what it's like to walk into places like Victoria's Secret and have the clerks look at you as if you were crazy to enter their domain. Of course, Vicki's "Secret" is that she doesn't make clothes for fatties.
I know what it's like for a child to point and say "Mommy, why is she so fat", and hear the mother respond with something like "because she eats too much".

On the other side of the coin, I remember the beginnings of my anorexia, when I honestly just skipped lunch so I could pocket the lunch money. I lost a few pounds for skipping meals, and I got praised for my "hard work to lose that fat". Upon finally getting praise instead of criticism, I started skipping breakfast. Then I started skipping dinner. I got down to a size 11/12, which would STILL be considered borderline overweight for my height of 5'11". I remember how it felt to go into a store and not have to ask where they'd hidden the bigger sizes. Where I'd been either invisible or the target of cruelty when I was fat, my newer, thinner, starved and sick self was suddenly a person of worth.

So, no, I DON'T think we're too accepting of obesity. Some airlines want to charge me for a second seat, even though I can still fit my fat ass into their tiny seats. I can still be discriminated against when looking for work based on my size. I can still go into a doctor's office with a medical complaint such as a sore elbow, and come away with (yet another) admonition to lose weight. Kids still deal with bullying, teasing and shunning if they are fat. Many of them consider suicide, because (news flash) diets don't work. (I certainly considered suicide as a fat kid, because the teasing felt so relentless and the prospect of losing weight seemed so hopeless.)

People need to understand something very important. Fat does NOT necessarily equal unhealthy or inactive. Fat definitely does NOT equal unworthy or unacceptable. I know what it's like to CRAVE seeing people on television and in movies and in magazines that represent the real America I live in. I crave an honest media where people come in all shapes and sizes and races and religions and so on and so on. I long for a day when a size 2 actress doesn't get called fat because she's become a size 4, for heaven's sake! (And while we're on the subject, what the hell is up with size 0? Are we telling those women that strive for a size 0 that they are striving to be invisible?)

Are we promoting or okay-ing obesity if we show on television and in magazines the actual variety of humanity? Is it better to have ribcage and hip-bone showing models on the covers of magazines that our girls will see and try to attain in spite of their genetics or their health? Does having a fat person on a magazine cover or a television show mean that chubby little kids everywhere will start to scarf down whole pizzas? Maybe, just maybe, showing a variety of shapes and sizes on television and in movies and in magazines won't "encourage" obesity or anorexia or any sort of disordered thinking at all. MAYBE if we had a slice of real, attainable, average people in the media, more young people would grow up realizing that we come in all shapes and sizes and colors and THAT IS NORMAL AND OKAY.

There are people who are very thin and can't gain weight despite their best efforts. There are fat people who can't lose weight. And, GASP, there are fat and thin and in-between people who like themselves JUST THE WAY THEY ARE, too.

The author of the blog that started it all has stated that she's a recovered anorexic, and that certainly does help understand why she personally has such an aversion to fat people. (It doesn't excuse her cruel words, of course, but does offer some insight.) My hope is that she will get into therapy, as she very obviously has a lot of disordered thinking in terms of bodies and health.

Sadly, however, that doesn't explain the overt exclusion and bigotry towards fat people in the "real world".

Clearly, the blog resonated with a lot of people. The last time I checked, her blog had around 1,950 comments, and I'm sure the number will grow. So perhaps good has come from this whole debacle. Perhaps people will evaluate their own thoughts, acknowledge their own prejudices, educate themselves, and act kindly towards others regardless of size.

Are you prejudiced against people of size? If so, what will you do to improve yourself and address your personal bigotries?

Big fundraising push for my sister's medical expenses

So far using the ChipIn! widget on the side of this blog, I've raised $330 to go towards my sister's medical expenses, and a friend mailed a check for $25. That's a total of $355 so far. I recently found out that friends and family back home in Tennessee are holding a benefit for her on November 6. I'd LOVE to be able to send her a check for $500 that she could open at or before the benefit.

Can you help reach that goal?

If you do not do any online banking, you are welcome to mail a check to me at the following address:

Tonya Rosenberg
P.O. Box 611
Issaquah, WA 98027-0023

Please put "Loretta's Medical Bills" in the memo line.

**UPDATE: October 24**

Sissy has had her first chemo treatment. Apparently she had a pretty adverse reaction (like an allergic reaction) and is not feeling well. The next treatment is November 8, two days after the scheduled benefit.

For those of you in Tennessee - my family and friends still in McMinnville - here is the basic info that I have regarding the benefit:

For Loretta Lynn Ritchey's expenses related to breast cancer
Place: Centertown Community Center
Dinner plates will be served starting at 5:00pm
There will also be an auction. If you have any goods or services you could donate for the auction, please get in touch and I'll help you get connected with our Mom.

News about my sister's cancer & related struggles

My sister is recovering well from her breast cancer surgery and her hysterectomy. Health-wise, it seems like good news at this point in terms of those issues.

Of course she will always have to deal with her fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, peripheral neuropathy, and so on. This will impact her ability to obtain and hold a job once her best friend (for whom she currently works as her health allows) retires and closes the business at the end of this month. My big sister (Loretta or Lynn to some, but Sissy to me) is someone who I've always looked up to. She has always been a strong, independent person - someone who I always thought would always find a way to land on her feet. She has always worked SO HARD. She always did her best to help others, and it's been hard for her to accept help. Sissy thinks she's supposed to be the helper, not the one needing to accept help.

I've been working on trying to raise some money online for Sissy to use for her medical expenses, and so far I've raised $355 ($330 from the ChipIn! widget on the right side of this page, and $25 sent as a check). Today Mom told me that they are having a benefit for Sissy on my birthday, November 6. I'd love to raise some more money for her by November 1 so I can send it to her by the date of the benefit.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Would you consider donating some funds directly for use by someone who just had breast cancer surgery and radiation?

If you do not have the ability to do online donations via ChipIn!, you can absolutely send a check. You can make it out me, or you can put her name on it and I can include it with the other funds in the card I'll be sending. Just contact me and I will give you my mailing address privately.

Thank you so much!

I love the 80s!

My 40th birthday is coming up, and it's making me relive some of (the cool parts) of my youth. Specifically, I'm reminiscing about television, movies and music from the 1980s.

Do you have favorite things you remember from that decade? Toys, games, technology, music, television shows, movies, clothing styles, etc. are all fair game.

Updates on my sister

I'll be posting updates on this blog in the form of replies. You are welcome to add your own replies if you like, of course.


I just got off the phone with my Mom.

Sissy has finished the radiation from her breast cancer removal surgery. Apparently they put some sort of balloon in the place where the cancer in her breast was removed, and then were able to administer radiation treatment twice a day for five days through that. I don't really understand all that, but I will research it.

This Friday Sissy is having another surgery, this surgery being a complete hysterectomy. The tumor on her ovary is about the size of an apple. Mom doesn't know if it's also cancerous, but hopefully I'll know more when I talk to her on Sunday.

Apparently she's been unable to have any bowel movements for a while. They have been giving her stool softeners, but so far she doesn't even have the urge to go. She is supposed to be "cleaned out" by Friday morning's surgery, so if there's still no movement I don't know what will happen. It's possible she'll have to have surgery to take care of impacted bowels, maybe? I don't know.

On the up side (or what I'm choosing to latch onto as an up side, at least), she's going to have the surgery at Baptist Hospital in Nashville. Not only is this a good hospital, it is where her life was saved back in 1973.

You see, when she was pregnant with my nephew she was VERY sick. She had hyperemesis (think of it as 24/7 morning sickness, but like a bad stomach flu where NOTHING stays down). If you can't keep food or water in your body at all, you can die - and a doctor at Baptist saved her life, and my nephew's life, by finally finding medicine that allowed her to stop throwing up.

Here's where the hopefulness, the belief and faith that maybe there are miracles, comes in. As it turns out, the oncologist gynecologist is the doctor WHO REPLACED THE ONE WHO SAVED HER when he retired! Maybe it's just coincidence. But we NEED something to cling to, some hope that there is something bigger than us at work, and that it's working in a wonderful, healing way in her life right now.

Please help my big sister

My sister is 16 years older than me. She's had to become a very strong lady as life has thrown more than a fair share of curve balls her way.

I can remember watching her dig for potatoes in our garden when, as a single parent, she was struggling to make ends meet. I know for a fact there were many times she literally went hungry to ensure my nephew would have food to eat.

As a teenager, I remember getting a call late one evening from her, hysterical and in tears. Her second husband (who was, I truly believe, her soul mate) had died from a heart attack, and she couldn't save him. It nearly broke her.

A few years back her last marriage ended in such a devastating way that I honestly had to pray all the time because I feared she might take her own life. He was simply that horrible to her.

She's struggled with fibromyalgia for a long time now, as well as neuropathy. A few years back she had to have carpel tunnel surgeries on both hands. Then she contracted the MRSA virus.

Through it all, she has remained as hard a worker as her health would allow (frankly, MORE than it should allow, but she's a stubborn fighter).

Now she faces another health challenge. During a recent routine mammogram they discovered cancer. She's gone through surgery to have the mass removed, along with two lymph nodes. She's about to start radiation treatment. Various cancers are prevalent in our family. We lost our Dad, Pa, and and uncle to prostate cancer. We've also lost grandparents and cousins to cancers. To hear the 'C' word in conjunction with my sister is a terrifying thing.

She works for a friend who'll be retiring in October - someone who knows that some days her health keeps her homebound, someone who wouldn't fire her for missing work. At 56 years old, with poor health, finding a new job will be difficult. Finding one with a boss who won't penalize her for her health seems impossible.

Her medical bills are already outrageous, and with radiation, follow-ups, etc., it's only going to grow.

She is a strong, independent, and proud woman. It's always been easier for her to do things for herself than to accept help. However, as her sister I can't sit by and do nothing. So, friends and family, I humbly ask for help for my sister. Some of you may know her personally. Many of you may not. But ALL of you who help - even if it's only to pray or send healing vibes her way - are SO very appreciated.

My convention checklist

Since it's almost time for San Diego Comic Con, I thought it'd be good to revisit this blog post. PLEASE feel free to add your suggestions, as this post was originally written more for the average convention rather than a BIG con like SDCC.

I attended my first convention way back in 1998, when I flew from TN to St. Louis for a Hercules/Xena convention. That was also the first time I boarded an airplane, come to think of it!

Since then, I've attended quite a few more conventions. Along the way I've developed a sort of system that works for me, and I thought I'd blog about it in case some of you aren't con vets and need a few handy hints from the trenches.

My list of must-haves:

1. CASH! Yes, most venues has an ATM on-site or nearby, but the lines can be worse than the ones for popular panels and autographs. At larger conventions I've witnessed ATMs running out of cash, too. Some vendors will accept plastic, but EVERYONE takes cash.
2. A comfortable backpack is a must for conventions. Make sure it's roomy enough to put any purchases, freebies and such that you'll accumulate throughout the day.
3. A three-ring-binder is my most important bring-along item! I always have a few sheets of notebook paper, several sheet protectors, a trading card protector sheet, and a zippered pencil pouch. The pouch always has a couple of pens and pencils, a highlighter as well as Sharpies in black and silver (sometimes I'll toss a red and a blue in there, too). If you collect autographs at all, you'll be VERY glad you brought these items. The sheet protectors and trading card protector sheet are perfect for keeping those autographed photos and cards from getting crumpled or smudged. The paper is great for taking notes during panels, doodling when you're bored in line, and such.
4. Water and a couple of snacks are things I really can't recommend enough. If food is available for con attendees, I can guarantee they will be marked up like crazy. Not to mention, it's easy to get overheated or have your blood sugar bottom out when you're on the go for hours on end. So be sure you pack some sustenance - trust me on this one.
5. Comfortable clothes and shoes, and a spare pair of socks. Yes, you might look stunning when you first arrive, but after several hours of walking around, being jostled by crowds, experiencing the heat that hundreds or thousands of bodies can produce in an enclosed space, the LAST thing you'll care about is how adorable those new high heels look with your outfit. So dress with comfort in mind. (Trust me, though, you can definitely look sexy AND be comfy.)
6. A camera is something you may or may not use, but it's a good idea to have one on hand. Don't forget extra batteries for it, too.
7. Since there are lots of great posters (many free) available at conventions, bring a poster tube to keep your new posters wrinkle- and fold-line-free.

A few extras you may want to shove into the backpack:

• over-the-counter pain medicine, such as Tylenol or Advil
• mouthwash, breath mints, or a couple of those little disposable toothbrushes
• (for the ladies) a spare couple of tampons or pads. Even if it's not your special time of the month, it's entirely possible you'll get to play the hero for a panicked, less-prepared person in the ladies room.
• sketch pad - sometimes artists will do a little sketch for you and sign it, which is always cool
• charger for your cell phone - in your down time you may plop down near an outlet. This is especially useful if you're also live Tweeting or blogging from the con.
• your laptop. This one's a fairly individual choice, and depends on whether you mind the extra weight as well as whether you'll actually use it at the con.
• small gifts for your favorite convention guests. Again, this is an individual choice. I like to stock up with candy to pass out, as sometimes the guests don't even have time to grab a bite to eat. 

Finally, there's something else I like to do prior to a convention. I like to go to the convention's website and review the list of guests. I like to familiarize myself with the folks who'll be there so I'll have at least some idea of who they are and what they're "known for". 

Once I get to the convention, my first order of business after getting through the door (which is, in itself, sometimes quite the ordeal) is to look at the program and use my highlighter to mark the things I most want to do so that I can plan the rest of my day around those "must see" moments. I'm also mindful to try and get to the room for more popular panels WELL in advance of the panel's scheduled start, because I've seen rooms fill up and people who've been waiting in line for ages are turned away. Find out whether the con you're attending clears the room after each panel, or allows people to stay in the room from one panel to the next. Some people have no problem camping out in a spot and staying there through several panels that don't interest them just so they can have a good seat for the one they DO care about.

The second order of business is to find out which booths are having freebie giveaways, locate them on the convention floor map (if provided), and plan out my route so that I can use my time efficiently and have a decent shot at collecting my most-coveted goodies.

Thirdly, I check out the photo-op schedules and highlight the ones I most want to do. Some guests will have a few different photo-op times available, but other guests may be there for a very limited time and have only one photo-op on the schedule.

All in all, conventions can be TONS of fun. My best advice would be to enjoy yourself, relax, and remember that the convention guests are people just like you. Treat them with respect, of course, but don't build them up to some god or goddess type status. If you just treat them like the real people they are, you might even get to hang out at the bar with them or find yourself involved in a really cool conversation with them. If you need a time-out to de-stress, take that time-out rather than push yourself beyond your limits.

Overall, the goal is to have a fun, exciting, enjoyable experience. I hope this will help you achieve that goal.

The Break Up Letter

I'm sorry to do this in a letter, but you MUST have seen this coming. We've never really gotten along. Sure, you've been in my life for what seems like forever, but I'm honestly just SO ready to move on.

I'd love to say something like "it's not you, it's me" to soften the blow, but it'd be a big cliche. It'd also be untrue, because you know what? It isn't me. It IS you.

You have the annoying, overbearing habit of showing up at the worst possible times. You've ruined my plans more often than I can count. None of my friends even want to hang out with me when you're around, for Pete's sake! The red flags have been there for a long time.

Why did I even put up with you for this long? I guess the best answer I can give is "I was weak". But you know what? I'm DONE. I've gone through boxes of Kleenex over you, and I've finally had enough.

So this is it. The end of the road for you and me. I want you to leave, and I don't want you to come back. Don't try to get at me through my friends or my kids, either. I want you far away from me and everyone I know.

That's right, Cold And Flu Season. I'm breaking up with you.

wish list

Add this to my wishlist (the items, plus the body to go with it):

http://www.hipsandcurves.com/plus-size-lingerie/p-255-plus-size-parisian-style-floor-length-skirt-default.aspx

My take on the Southwest vs. Kevin Smith Fattie Throwdown

I've been following the story of director and actor Kevin Smith's recent travel woes with popular carrier Southwest Airlines with more than a little interest. The issue surrounds the apparently long-standing policy of Southwest to allow it's individual employees to make judgment calls about a passenger's size and whether a given passenger is "too fat to fly".  I've got a horse in this race because I am what is commonly known as a "fat chick" myself.

There are, naturally, at least two sides to every story. Kevin Smith's side can be heard on his podcast in his own words and voice at "SModcast #106: Go Fuck Yourself, Southwest Airlines", and you can read his two (as of this blogging) online journal posts about it entitled "'Burn Hollywood, Burn!' Writes Unhappy Middle-Aged Woman" and "Running Out of Gas On This Subject".  Southwest Airlines also have two blog posts on the subject so far: "Not So Silent Bob" and "My Conversation with Kevin Smith". In addition, both Smith and Southwest are on Twitter at @ThatKevinSmith and @SouthwestAir, respectively, the former of which essentially broke this story by tweeting his frustrations in the immediate aftermath of his being removed from the flight on which he was already seated.

Now clearly, Southwest Airlines must take it's Customer Service Commitment very seriously - it's a nearly 30-page document, after all. Why, right there on page two it clearly states "Southwest is proud
to incorporate its voluntary Customer Service Commitment in its official Contract of
Carriage reinforcing our pledge to provide safe, affordable, reliable, timely, courteous,
and efficient air transportation and baggage handling service on every flight we operate...". Well, I don't know if publicly humiliating anyone (celebrity or not) is what I'd necessarily call being courteous, but I'm not a dictionary editor or anything so what the heck do I know?

The party line Kevin Smith was given in his recent experience was that his sitting in his seat was a "safety issue". Now, according to him, he could buckle his safety belt without any need for an extender, the armrests on both sides of his seat could be fully put down without a problem, and the women seated on either side of him said that he was not infringing upon their seats. He wasn't seated in an exit row, to the best of my understanding, either. So where, exactly, did this "safety" issue come into play?

Some comments on various blogs and Twitter discussions have been along the "if there's an accident, I don't want to be blocked in by some lard ass who's wedged into their seat". And you know, I get that...to a point. But right there on page seven of that Customer Service Commitment document it says

"In compliance with 14 CFR Part 382 at least 50% of our aisle seats are fitted with moveable armrests on the aisle seat in order to facilitate a safe and dignified transfer from a boarding chair to the aircraft seat." 

Now maybe it's just how I'm reading it and I'm completely misinformed, but that SEEMS to be saying that at least 50% of their aisle seats are built to accommodate folks who require wheelchairs to board. Not to be politically incorrect, but it would seem like those people would be just as much of a safety hazard for blocking Joe Doe in as the average fat person. If it comes down to safety, I have to ask - how safe is it to let anyone fly who has an injury or illness or disability that renders them incapable of escaping a plane in an emergency without assistance? I suppose infants and children who aren't really good at walking yet should be banned from flying, too, since they'd potentially block the more able-bodied passengers escape route.

Oh, I forgot. It's OKAY to discriminate against people for their size. If someone was removed from a flight for the color of their skin or their religious beliefs, there wouldn't even be a debate - that sort of discrimination is not acceptable, period. But if you shop at Lane Bryant or some men's Big and Tall store, it's apparently perfectly fine to eject them from the flight EVEN IF THEY AREN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG.

Here's a novel idea. How about we don't discriminate against ANYONE?

Having said all of this, let me be clear on an important point. I'm absolutely aware that safety is of the utmost importance on a flight. It's why I don't put up too much of a fuss when I'm told to remove my shoes or even to throw away the bottled water I JUST purchased because I can't take it through the security check-point (but I am, of course, allowed to purchase ANOTHER new bottle of water once I get through security). If there was a LEGITIMATE reason for why "fatness" equals "safety", I'd like to hear it. But honestly? I fear it's much more about how fatness makes the non-fat uncomfortable - and I'm not just referring to physicality, here.

If I get to the point where I need to buy two seats, I will do so. Frankly, having armrests dig into my fleshy rolls for several hours isn't all that appealing an idea. The "Guidelines for Customers of Size" states the following:

"Customers who are unable to lower both armrests and/or who compromise any portion of adjacent seating should proactively book the number of seats needed prior to travel. The armrest is considered to be the definitive boundary between seats and measures 17 inches in width. This purchase serves as a notification of a special seating need and allows us to process a refund of the additional seating cost after travel (provided the flight doesn’t oversell). Most importantly, it ensures that all on board have access to safe and comfortable seating."

Wait a minute. Back up to the gate! Did I just read that last sentence correctly? "ALL on board have access to safe and COMFORTABLE seating"?! Even if I lost lots of weight, I'd STILL not have access to COMFORTABLE seating - I'm 5'11" tall! Sure, there's more leg room in the emergency exit row, but as I'm still recovering from last summer's injury I'm not eligible to sit there. Oh, and even if I somehow figured out a way to shrink down to a more airline-friendly 5'6" or so, I experience discomfort if I'm sitting near someone with overwhelming body odor, or waaaaaay too much cologne/perfume, or a pitiful crying baby, or...

So yeah. I'm still trying to figure out how someone who measures 16.5" in width is SAFE while someone who is 17.25" in width is UNSAFE.

I don't love the idea of having certain weights/sizes classified as a disability - there are plenty of us fatties who can move and shake right along with the rest of the world! - but I'm wondering if that's what it's going to take to STOP THE DISCRIMINATION.

Kevin Smith is not, by a long-shot, the first person to have experienced this oh-so-special brand of size discrimination. This man was denied boarding for his size on a return trip (yet the trip TO his destination was, magically, just fine): the airline said he was denied due to his behavior, but who WOULDN'T be visibly upset when told "you're too fat to fly"?! Southwest has run into problems with it's fat passenger policy a few times over the years. And this issue isn't just cropping up in the United States. A French man was humiliated by his experience with Air France.

The fact of the matter is that the MAJORITY of Americans (according to a recent study, 68 percent) are overweight. I understand that airlines strive to keep operating costs low and profits high, and that to do otherwise would probably result in their company going under. However, when considering the fact that over half the US population may be subject to this rather abstract and hard-to-uniformly-enforce policy, the airlines MUST understand that this sort of public relations snafu is going to have a potentially negative impact on their bottom line as more paying customers fear being humiliated publicly for THEIR "bottom" line.

I know Kevin Smith isn't everyone's cup of tea. I understand that many people think he's just some spoiled celebrity who didn't get his way. I even understand that plenty of people think fat people = _insert your own negative fat stereotype here_.

Personally, though, I think this case is just one in which they humiliated a fat person who just happens to have access to a lot of people and just happens to be unwilling and unable to quietly go away with his head hung in embarrassment. Many of us who are fat, or who have been fat, already know how easy it is to be emotionally beat down and to feel ashamed of who we are and how we look. We know how hard it is sometimes to speak up; we know it's much easier and generally less painful to just try to walk away with what little shred of dignity we've managed to cling to when being made to feel like something less than human. I'm GLAD a celebrity has brought this issue back to the forefront, because so often we average Janes and Joes simply don't have a loud enough voice to be heard.

This policy that Southwest (and many other airlines) have about customers of size is understandable, but it's far too subjective and has been handled far too callously. This policy is NOT clear and definitive, which leaves it up to each individual airline employee along the path from ticket purchase to plane departure. I hope this most recent uproar will bring much needed attention and change to the issue. NO ONE deserves to be treated as "less than" - not for their size, not for their religion, not for their gender, not for their race, not for any reason.


P.S.
I really liked this person's blog on the subject, as well, if you care to read it:
Southwest Fails Kevin Smith and Themselves

"Jon Stewart Wipes the Floor with Dick Sweat"

So tonight Jon Stewart had a segment about blogs and how the titles of political blogs are a bit more "intense" than the topic warrants, siting blog titles that use terms like "eviscerates" for situations that are actually quite reasonable and polite.

After the break, he had a funny segment in which he showed President Barack Obama being addressed by a man named Dick Sweat, who's apparently a well-known politician in his area. Naturally, the segment poked a bit of fun at the man's unfortunate moniker - paired with pretty hilarious spit-take attempts.

I, incorrigible dork that I am, just had to combine the two ideas into the title of this blog. Goofy, yes. But it made ME laugh, at least!

(Check out The Daily Show with Jon Stewart online.)

Team CoCo updates, link roundups here

In case you missed it, there are lots of great links out there about this whole fiasco. I thought I'd try to collect some of my favorites here. Please leave comments if you think I've missed something (but let's be honest, I don't really CARE if I miss any pro-Leno links).


The Week Late Night Went to War has been a hotbed of controversy. Some late night talk show hosts have addressed it head-on, while others have seemed to essentially steer away from the drama. I felt sorry for the endearing Jimmy Fallon when he mentioned it on his show. He seemed almost like a little kid whose parents are divorcing and asking him which parent he loves more. But overall, the resulting comedic material has been entertaining as hell. Last night, January 14, was spectacular. I think I may be a little in love with Jimmy Kimmel right now! Watch The Late Night Wars Reaches Its Boiling Point: All the Clips You Missed and tell me what you think of Kimmel's comments.

Market Watch writer Jeff Friedman asks an excellent question: Why is Jeff Zucker still running NBC? 

Aptly named DICK Ebersol defended Leno to a New York Times reporter. Dick seemed to think it was more important and effective to support Leno by ripping into Conan. Lovely.

You know, what with Zucker making such ugly threats as keeping Conan off all of television for over three years, it almost seems like he's got some sort of ax to grind with Conan. Oh, wait, what's that? Zucker had Conan arrested in 1985 at Harvard? Nahhh, nobody with any maturity or intelligence holds a grudge for that long, right?

A Wall Street Journal writer wrote a really interesting essay about Why Some Comics Aren't Laughing at Jay Leno. As a big fan of stand up, and as a beginning comedianne myself, I have to say I agree with pretty much every point made in the article. I do remember a time when Leno was funny and sharp-witted. But I guess you can't expect much from a man who doesn't regret eavesdropping on his bosses.

I find it disheartening when I have to compare the pre-power-hungry Jay Leno to the man he seems to be now - a man who could have ended this whole debacle before it began by simply bowing out gracefully. It would appear, though, that he learned nothing from his own experience 17 years ago. Read Jay Leno, NBC, and Conan: A History of False Promises, Treachery and Doublespeak to see what I mean.

The Conan v. Leno debate

I'm With COCO,
originally uploaded by stevegarfield.

Yeah, I know EVERYONE seems to be blogging about it. Twitter has seen lots of action with trending topics like "Conan" and "Leno", plus hashtags like #teamconan, #teamcoco and #imwithcoco. Clearly, while it may not be the most important news story in the history of mankind, it's a fairly popular topic of conversation.  I'll tell you right now - I'm on Team Conan.

If you aren't quite familiar with what all the fuss is about, you can read all about it on "Everything You Need To Know About The Conan/Leno Drama In One Easy Post".

It's been a wild ride on the late night circuit all-around. Conan hasn't shied away from the drama, and neither have his guests. The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien has been (in my opinion) consistently funny yet poignant in the wake of this time of uncertainty. From the opening monologues to the closing credits, everyone at the Tonight Show seems to be almost resigned yet unwilling to show weakness.

To be honest, I have ALWAYS disliked Leno. I thought David Letterman would've been the much better replacement for Johnny Carson, but even back then NBC seemed to have a hard-on for Leno. Honestly, I almost wonder if Jay doesn't have some sort of incriminating information on the execs at NBC! Jay has made mention of the whole fiasco, too, apparently. (I simply can't stand him long enough to even suffer through his monologues generally, but for the sake of this blog I went back and watched. I really hope y'all appreciate my pain and suffering!) The Jay Leno Show has been craptacular - and that's not just my opinion, but the opinion of many NBC affiliates, obviously.

There has, in all of this madness, been one time I really enjoyed Jay Leno. That one time was when Jimmy Kimmel Live did an entire show AS Jay Leno (episode 7164). Honestly, it's the first time I've laughed at Leno in years (or maybe ever). Kimmel is slated to be a guest on Leno's show tonight. I may have to have a few drinks so I can sit through Jay's show just to see what happens. Will Jimmy flat out ask Jay "why the hell don't you just retire?" I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

The latest announcement in the shitstorm that NBC has created over their late night programming is NBC's head honcho, Jeff Zucker, has threatened to keep Conan "off the air for 3.5 years".

With this latest development, it seems clear to me that NBC knows it's fucking over Conan O'Brien and doesn't even have the decency to attempt an appearance of professionalism or basic human courtesy. Conan moved not only his wife and children across the country for this opportunity, but also was supported by staff also packing up and moving from NY to CA. I can't speak for you, but I can't really think of a single boss I've ever had that inspired such loyalty that would make me say "hey, I know, let's move thousands of miles from the home I've had for years so I can continue to work with you."

The letter that Conan penned, expressing his love for The Tonight Show, seemed to me to be genuine and heartfelt. I respect the fact that he refuses to go along with shitting on what is, ostensibly, an American institution of television. If Steve Allen, Jack Parr and Johnny Carson are watching all of this drama unfold from Heaven, I have a feeling they are all proud of Conan's determination to honor and respect the history of the show into which they all poured so much of themselves.

Some will say that Jay Leno isn't in any way responsible for all of this madness, that he was pushed out of the Tonight Show before he was ready to leave, etc. To those people I point out the following fact: both in this instance and in the 1992 Letterman situation, there are two commonalities - NBC suits and Jay Leno.

How can ANY entertainer, ANY potential television program creator, ever want to deal with a network that has shown, time and again, that it has no respect for its talent?

If you are on Team Conan, I propose the following: send mail (actual, old-fashioned snail mail) to Jeff Zucker at NBC. Conan is recognizable by his hair, so rather than just sending postcards, I propose we send hair products - pomade, mousse, hair gel, etc. You can get travel sizes if shipping costs are an issue. I propose this because letters and postcards are too easy to simply toss. Packages require manpower to open and sort through. Sound crazy? Hey, tell that to the fans of Jericho who got closure with more episodes by mailing 25 tons of nuts to CBS!