I'm prepping to do something this weekend that I haven't done in years! I'm actually inviting people into my home!
To put it in the simplest terms, my house is so embarrassingly messy and cluttered that it's prevented me from inviting friends over to just hang out, eat, play games, watch movies, or whatever. One reason it's this way is because things have spun out of control in terms of my housekeeping efforts. I already had fibromyalgia, which slowed me down considerably. Then, in July of 2009, I broke my leg and dislocated my ankle, which resulted in permanent (painful) nerve damage to my foot. Another reason is that we emptied out our storage unit so we could use that monthly fee to deal with other monthly expenditures. Finally, my husband and kids pretty much stink at things like picking up after themselves, putting things back where they found them, and such. Oh, and our dog sheds a lot. And the house is surrounded by evergreens so we're forever tracking in pine needles.
Anyway, I am tired of it. Years ago it didn't bother me so much that we weren't a family of clean freaks, because I didn't really have friends who lived close by. Now, however, I've got the most excellent gaggle of girlfriends I could possibly ask for, and I want to finally be able to return the hospitality they've all shown to me so often. (Plus, there's nothing like planning for people to come over to serve as a nice, big push to get off our duffs and clean!)
Naturally, I've got some major anxiety surrounding all of this. My friends are all generally neat and clean and organized and have mad kitchen skills. Generally, a meal served by me comes from a can, box, bag or restaurant. So in addition to fighting this uphill battle to get somewhat clean and organized, I'm also fighting the familiar old refrain of "I'm not good enough" that my brain seems to automatically start running on a loop when I'm feeling intimidated. Logically, I know my friends love me, that they are aware of my physical stuff that impacts the amount of stuff I can do, that they are coming over not because of a clean house or food but for love and friendship (and wine). That's what my LOGICAL mind knows. But it's that darn emotional brain that seems to be the most persistent. My emotional brain says I'm a failure, I'm not good enough, that I'm stupid, that it's only a matter of time before my friends "catch on" to the fact that I'm lacking and dump me. Part of this stems from perfectionism. I used to think I couldn't be a perfectionist with such a messy house, but I read somewhere that sometimes perfectionists can sort of throw up their hands and say "if I can't do it perfectly, I won't do it at all".
I'm really rooting for the logical side of me to win this round! I'm trying to focus on what I can do, and trying to let go of the things I just can't accomplish by Saturday. I'm trying to figure out a menu that tastes good but is easy enough that even a kitchen-phobe like me can pull it together. I'm actually getting excited more than freaked out and weary, which is a great sign that logic may rule the day. I think I've finally got my menu lined up, too. One of my friends is bringing a salad or some sort of side dish, I believe.
Holidaze Party Menu (so far)
Appetizer - baked artichoke squares
Meat - apple bourbon country-style pork ribs (slow cookers seems less intimidating to me)
Veggie - mashed potatoes with side choices of fresh chives, bacon crumbles, sour cream, and cheddar cheese
Sweets - red velvet cupcakes, Starbucks Cranberry Bliss Bars
Drinks - Maybe try some Dark n' Fluffy or other mixed drinks, wine, sparkling juice for anyone not drinking (or to use as a mixer), and coffee
Think that'll be good enough? I hope it turns out all right.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Missing toddler Sky Metalwala
As we approach the weekend, I find myself pondering the case of Sky Metalwala, who was reported missing on the morning of November 6. This coming Sunday will mark six weeks since little Sky was reported as missing by his mother, Julia Biryukova. Her story rapidly fell apart, yet there have been no new leads for weeks now. Mommy and her family still refuse to cooperate with the police. Julia seems to be in hiding. Meanwhile, Sky's Daddy is working like crazy, passing out fliers and asking businesses to display fliers in their windows. He voluntarily took two lie detector tests. He's staying in close contact with the police, answering any questions they have and seeking all sorts of ways to try and find his son. Solomon is trying to stay positive and continues to have faith that Sky will be found alive and well.
None of this makes sense to me. The last time anyone (aside from the mother and sister) saw Sky was at least two weeks prior to his disappearance. Days before his allegedly being taken from the car in which his mother had abandoned him to go get help as she had ran out of gas (although in truth the car had gas, as investigators soon learned), she and estranged husband Solomon Metalwala was in an 11-hour mediation session where they were trying to work out a mutually agreeable custody and visitation plan for Sky and big sister Mailie, age 4. Julia and Solomon had gotten in trouble a couple of years ago when they left a sleeping Sky in their car while they went inside a Target store in below freezing temperatures. They were both charged and had to attend parenting classes as a part of their punishment. Solomon has stated very clearly that it was the biggest mistake of his life and he learned from it and would never do such a thing again. Apparently Julia didn't learn her lesson, though, as is proven not only by her allegedly leaving Sky in the car on November 6, but also (in my opinion) by leaving the two children alone for about 12 hours on the day of that grueling mediation session. Otherwise, why wouldn't a babysitter come forward and say "oh, yes, of course I saw Sky just a few days before his disappearance!"?
The more we learn about Julia's past, mental health status, family of origin, and that she wanted to undo all of that work in mediation so that Solomon would never see the kids again, the more concerned I am that something happened to Sky on the day of the mediation while she'd left him alone with only a 4 year old to supervise him. Yes, 4-year-old Mailie did tell FBI agents specially trained to talk to children that Sky had been in the car "wrapped in a blanket" on that fateful Sunday morning. However, listening to Julia Biryukova's blog, it seems apparent to me that she knows very well how to talk to her children in such a way as to manipulate them and make them fear and distrust their father. I wouldn't be at all surprised if little Mailie had been told little Sky was just sleeping. Or, heaven forbid, that she was the one who'd go to jail if anyone learned that Sky was dead because it happened while she was supposed to be babysitting him. I honestly wouldn't put it past Julia to brainwash and manipulate her daughter in this way.
One bright spot in all of this is the fact that Solomon has not only finally gained full custody of Mailie, but was told that a mistake was made when the children were given to Julia back when they first started the custody battle. I just hope that mistake hasn't resulted in the death of Sky, either accidentally or at the hands of Julia. While I pray that little Sky is alive and safe and warm, as time marches on it seems less and less likely that he'll be coming home to Solomon alive. If Julia does know the whereabouts of Sky or his body, I hope that she will share that information so there can be at least closure if not a happy ending. And if she did, in fact, harm him in any way, I think death by fire ants would be too kind.
None of this makes sense to me. The last time anyone (aside from the mother and sister) saw Sky was at least two weeks prior to his disappearance. Days before his allegedly being taken from the car in which his mother had abandoned him to go get help as she had ran out of gas (although in truth the car had gas, as investigators soon learned), she and estranged husband Solomon Metalwala was in an 11-hour mediation session where they were trying to work out a mutually agreeable custody and visitation plan for Sky and big sister Mailie, age 4. Julia and Solomon had gotten in trouble a couple of years ago when they left a sleeping Sky in their car while they went inside a Target store in below freezing temperatures. They were both charged and had to attend parenting classes as a part of their punishment. Solomon has stated very clearly that it was the biggest mistake of his life and he learned from it and would never do such a thing again. Apparently Julia didn't learn her lesson, though, as is proven not only by her allegedly leaving Sky in the car on November 6, but also (in my opinion) by leaving the two children alone for about 12 hours on the day of that grueling mediation session. Otherwise, why wouldn't a babysitter come forward and say "oh, yes, of course I saw Sky just a few days before his disappearance!"?
The more we learn about Julia's past, mental health status, family of origin, and that she wanted to undo all of that work in mediation so that Solomon would never see the kids again, the more concerned I am that something happened to Sky on the day of the mediation while she'd left him alone with only a 4 year old to supervise him. Yes, 4-year-old Mailie did tell FBI agents specially trained to talk to children that Sky had been in the car "wrapped in a blanket" on that fateful Sunday morning. However, listening to Julia Biryukova's blog, it seems apparent to me that she knows very well how to talk to her children in such a way as to manipulate them and make them fear and distrust their father. I wouldn't be at all surprised if little Mailie had been told little Sky was just sleeping. Or, heaven forbid, that she was the one who'd go to jail if anyone learned that Sky was dead because it happened while she was supposed to be babysitting him. I honestly wouldn't put it past Julia to brainwash and manipulate her daughter in this way.
One bright spot in all of this is the fact that Solomon has not only finally gained full custody of Mailie, but was told that a mistake was made when the children were given to Julia back when they first started the custody battle. I just hope that mistake hasn't resulted in the death of Sky, either accidentally or at the hands of Julia. While I pray that little Sky is alive and safe and warm, as time marches on it seems less and less likely that he'll be coming home to Solomon alive. If Julia does know the whereabouts of Sky or his body, I hope that she will share that information so there can be at least closure if not a happy ending. And if she did, in fact, harm him in any way, I think death by fire ants would be too kind.
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