Well crap. This is a new one for me.

Seems I've joined the ranks of the identity theived...thefted...theved... Oh, however you say "holy shitballs, my identity's been stolen!"

I got a call today inquiring about some recent (large) online purchases using my account. Like I'd ever shop at Tommy Hilfiger?! I'm pretty sure that's one of those companies that doesn't believe fat chicks have no business even looking at their website, much less bring down their mall property value by being seen in their stores. So no, lady on the phone, I definitely did not spend over $400 at Tommy MiddleFinger.

But apparently somebody did.

All told, we're talking WELL over a thousand dollars that someone charged up using MY account. Clearly, I'll be doing whatever is necessary on my part to make sure those responsible are caught and punished. And in my dream scenario, punished means being dipped in honey, buried up to the neck in a giant hill of fire ants, and being repeatedly violated by creepy clowns.

So now I'll be in the process of doing whatever I can to protect myself and trying to shake off the feeling of being violated in a fundamental sort of way. I thought I was safe and careful. Clearly, I wasn't. I thought this only happened to others, and wouldn't happen to me. Clearly, I was wrong.

Advice of the day? Read and follow ALL warnings and suggestions about keeping your identity safe online and offline.