My take on the Southwest vs. Kevin Smith Fattie Throwdown

I've been following the story of director and actor Kevin Smith's recent travel woes with popular carrier Southwest Airlines with more than a little interest. The issue surrounds the apparently long-standing policy of Southwest to allow it's individual employees to make judgment calls about a passenger's size and whether a given passenger is "too fat to fly".  I've got a horse in this race because I am what is commonly known as a "fat chick" myself.

There are, naturally, at least two sides to every story. Kevin Smith's side can be heard on his podcast in his own words and voice at "SModcast #106: Go Fuck Yourself, Southwest Airlines", and you can read his two (as of this blogging) online journal posts about it entitled "'Burn Hollywood, Burn!' Writes Unhappy Middle-Aged Woman" and "Running Out of Gas On This Subject".  Southwest Airlines also have two blog posts on the subject so far: "Not So Silent Bob" and "My Conversation with Kevin Smith". In addition, both Smith and Southwest are on Twitter at @ThatKevinSmith and @SouthwestAir, respectively, the former of which essentially broke this story by tweeting his frustrations in the immediate aftermath of his being removed from the flight on which he was already seated.

Now clearly, Southwest Airlines must take it's Customer Service Commitment very seriously - it's a nearly 30-page document, after all. Why, right there on page two it clearly states "Southwest is proud
to incorporate its voluntary Customer Service Commitment in its official Contract of
Carriage reinforcing our pledge to provide safe, affordable, reliable, timely, courteous,
and efficient air transportation and baggage handling service on every flight we operate...". Well, I don't know if publicly humiliating anyone (celebrity or not) is what I'd necessarily call being courteous, but I'm not a dictionary editor or anything so what the heck do I know?

The party line Kevin Smith was given in his recent experience was that his sitting in his seat was a "safety issue". Now, according to him, he could buckle his safety belt without any need for an extender, the armrests on both sides of his seat could be fully put down without a problem, and the women seated on either side of him said that he was not infringing upon their seats. He wasn't seated in an exit row, to the best of my understanding, either. So where, exactly, did this "safety" issue come into play?

Some comments on various blogs and Twitter discussions have been along the "if there's an accident, I don't want to be blocked in by some lard ass who's wedged into their seat". And you know, I get that...to a point. But right there on page seven of that Customer Service Commitment document it says

"In compliance with 14 CFR Part 382 at least 50% of our aisle seats are fitted with moveable armrests on the aisle seat in order to facilitate a safe and dignified transfer from a boarding chair to the aircraft seat." 

Now maybe it's just how I'm reading it and I'm completely misinformed, but that SEEMS to be saying that at least 50% of their aisle seats are built to accommodate folks who require wheelchairs to board. Not to be politically incorrect, but it would seem like those people would be just as much of a safety hazard for blocking Joe Doe in as the average fat person. If it comes down to safety, I have to ask - how safe is it to let anyone fly who has an injury or illness or disability that renders them incapable of escaping a plane in an emergency without assistance? I suppose infants and children who aren't really good at walking yet should be banned from flying, too, since they'd potentially block the more able-bodied passengers escape route.

Oh, I forgot. It's OKAY to discriminate against people for their size. If someone was removed from a flight for the color of their skin or their religious beliefs, there wouldn't even be a debate - that sort of discrimination is not acceptable, period. But if you shop at Lane Bryant or some men's Big and Tall store, it's apparently perfectly fine to eject them from the flight EVEN IF THEY AREN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG.

Here's a novel idea. How about we don't discriminate against ANYONE?

Having said all of this, let me be clear on an important point. I'm absolutely aware that safety is of the utmost importance on a flight. It's why I don't put up too much of a fuss when I'm told to remove my shoes or even to throw away the bottled water I JUST purchased because I can't take it through the security check-point (but I am, of course, allowed to purchase ANOTHER new bottle of water once I get through security). If there was a LEGITIMATE reason for why "fatness" equals "safety", I'd like to hear it. But honestly? I fear it's much more about how fatness makes the non-fat uncomfortable - and I'm not just referring to physicality, here.

If I get to the point where I need to buy two seats, I will do so. Frankly, having armrests dig into my fleshy rolls for several hours isn't all that appealing an idea. The "Guidelines for Customers of Size" states the following:

"Customers who are unable to lower both armrests and/or who compromise any portion of adjacent seating should proactively book the number of seats needed prior to travel. The armrest is considered to be the definitive boundary between seats and measures 17 inches in width. This purchase serves as a notification of a special seating need and allows us to process a refund of the additional seating cost after travel (provided the flight doesn’t oversell). Most importantly, it ensures that all on board have access to safe and comfortable seating."

Wait a minute. Back up to the gate! Did I just read that last sentence correctly? "ALL on board have access to safe and COMFORTABLE seating"?! Even if I lost lots of weight, I'd STILL not have access to COMFORTABLE seating - I'm 5'11" tall! Sure, there's more leg room in the emergency exit row, but as I'm still recovering from last summer's injury I'm not eligible to sit there. Oh, and even if I somehow figured out a way to shrink down to a more airline-friendly 5'6" or so, I experience discomfort if I'm sitting near someone with overwhelming body odor, or waaaaaay too much cologne/perfume, or a pitiful crying baby, or...

So yeah. I'm still trying to figure out how someone who measures 16.5" in width is SAFE while someone who is 17.25" in width is UNSAFE.

I don't love the idea of having certain weights/sizes classified as a disability - there are plenty of us fatties who can move and shake right along with the rest of the world! - but I'm wondering if that's what it's going to take to STOP THE DISCRIMINATION.

Kevin Smith is not, by a long-shot, the first person to have experienced this oh-so-special brand of size discrimination. This man was denied boarding for his size on a return trip (yet the trip TO his destination was, magically, just fine): the airline said he was denied due to his behavior, but who WOULDN'T be visibly upset when told "you're too fat to fly"?! Southwest has run into problems with it's fat passenger policy a few times over the years. And this issue isn't just cropping up in the United States. A French man was humiliated by his experience with Air France.

The fact of the matter is that the MAJORITY of Americans (according to a recent study, 68 percent) are overweight. I understand that airlines strive to keep operating costs low and profits high, and that to do otherwise would probably result in their company going under. However, when considering the fact that over half the US population may be subject to this rather abstract and hard-to-uniformly-enforce policy, the airlines MUST understand that this sort of public relations snafu is going to have a potentially negative impact on their bottom line as more paying customers fear being humiliated publicly for THEIR "bottom" line.

I know Kevin Smith isn't everyone's cup of tea. I understand that many people think he's just some spoiled celebrity who didn't get his way. I even understand that plenty of people think fat people = _insert your own negative fat stereotype here_.

Personally, though, I think this case is just one in which they humiliated a fat person who just happens to have access to a lot of people and just happens to be unwilling and unable to quietly go away with his head hung in embarrassment. Many of us who are fat, or who have been fat, already know how easy it is to be emotionally beat down and to feel ashamed of who we are and how we look. We know how hard it is sometimes to speak up; we know it's much easier and generally less painful to just try to walk away with what little shred of dignity we've managed to cling to when being made to feel like something less than human. I'm GLAD a celebrity has brought this issue back to the forefront, because so often we average Janes and Joes simply don't have a loud enough voice to be heard.

This policy that Southwest (and many other airlines) have about customers of size is understandable, but it's far too subjective and has been handled far too callously. This policy is NOT clear and definitive, which leaves it up to each individual airline employee along the path from ticket purchase to plane departure. I hope this most recent uproar will bring much needed attention and change to the issue. NO ONE deserves to be treated as "less than" - not for their size, not for their religion, not for their gender, not for their race, not for any reason.


P.S.
I really liked this person's blog on the subject, as well, if you care to read it:
Southwest Fails Kevin Smith and Themselves

"Jon Stewart Wipes the Floor with Dick Sweat"

So tonight Jon Stewart had a segment about blogs and how the titles of political blogs are a bit more "intense" than the topic warrants, siting blog titles that use terms like "eviscerates" for situations that are actually quite reasonable and polite.

After the break, he had a funny segment in which he showed President Barack Obama being addressed by a man named Dick Sweat, who's apparently a well-known politician in his area. Naturally, the segment poked a bit of fun at the man's unfortunate moniker - paired with pretty hilarious spit-take attempts.

I, incorrigible dork that I am, just had to combine the two ideas into the title of this blog. Goofy, yes. But it made ME laugh, at least!

(Check out The Daily Show with Jon Stewart online.)

Team CoCo updates, link roundups here

In case you missed it, there are lots of great links out there about this whole fiasco. I thought I'd try to collect some of my favorites here. Please leave comments if you think I've missed something (but let's be honest, I don't really CARE if I miss any pro-Leno links).


The Week Late Night Went to War has been a hotbed of controversy. Some late night talk show hosts have addressed it head-on, while others have seemed to essentially steer away from the drama. I felt sorry for the endearing Jimmy Fallon when he mentioned it on his show. He seemed almost like a little kid whose parents are divorcing and asking him which parent he loves more. But overall, the resulting comedic material has been entertaining as hell. Last night, January 14, was spectacular. I think I may be a little in love with Jimmy Kimmel right now! Watch The Late Night Wars Reaches Its Boiling Point: All the Clips You Missed and tell me what you think of Kimmel's comments.

Market Watch writer Jeff Friedman asks an excellent question: Why is Jeff Zucker still running NBC? 

Aptly named DICK Ebersol defended Leno to a New York Times reporter. Dick seemed to think it was more important and effective to support Leno by ripping into Conan. Lovely.

You know, what with Zucker making such ugly threats as keeping Conan off all of television for over three years, it almost seems like he's got some sort of ax to grind with Conan. Oh, wait, what's that? Zucker had Conan arrested in 1985 at Harvard? Nahhh, nobody with any maturity or intelligence holds a grudge for that long, right?

A Wall Street Journal writer wrote a really interesting essay about Why Some Comics Aren't Laughing at Jay Leno. As a big fan of stand up, and as a beginning comedianne myself, I have to say I agree with pretty much every point made in the article. I do remember a time when Leno was funny and sharp-witted. But I guess you can't expect much from a man who doesn't regret eavesdropping on his bosses.

I find it disheartening when I have to compare the pre-power-hungry Jay Leno to the man he seems to be now - a man who could have ended this whole debacle before it began by simply bowing out gracefully. It would appear, though, that he learned nothing from his own experience 17 years ago. Read Jay Leno, NBC, and Conan: A History of False Promises, Treachery and Doublespeak to see what I mean.

The Conan v. Leno debate

I'm With COCO,
originally uploaded by stevegarfield.

Yeah, I know EVERYONE seems to be blogging about it. Twitter has seen lots of action with trending topics like "Conan" and "Leno", plus hashtags like #teamconan, #teamcoco and #imwithcoco. Clearly, while it may not be the most important news story in the history of mankind, it's a fairly popular topic of conversation.  I'll tell you right now - I'm on Team Conan.

If you aren't quite familiar with what all the fuss is about, you can read all about it on "Everything You Need To Know About The Conan/Leno Drama In One Easy Post".

It's been a wild ride on the late night circuit all-around. Conan hasn't shied away from the drama, and neither have his guests. The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien has been (in my opinion) consistently funny yet poignant in the wake of this time of uncertainty. From the opening monologues to the closing credits, everyone at the Tonight Show seems to be almost resigned yet unwilling to show weakness.

To be honest, I have ALWAYS disliked Leno. I thought David Letterman would've been the much better replacement for Johnny Carson, but even back then NBC seemed to have a hard-on for Leno. Honestly, I almost wonder if Jay doesn't have some sort of incriminating information on the execs at NBC! Jay has made mention of the whole fiasco, too, apparently. (I simply can't stand him long enough to even suffer through his monologues generally, but for the sake of this blog I went back and watched. I really hope y'all appreciate my pain and suffering!) The Jay Leno Show has been craptacular - and that's not just my opinion, but the opinion of many NBC affiliates, obviously.

There has, in all of this madness, been one time I really enjoyed Jay Leno. That one time was when Jimmy Kimmel Live did an entire show AS Jay Leno (episode 7164). Honestly, it's the first time I've laughed at Leno in years (or maybe ever). Kimmel is slated to be a guest on Leno's show tonight. I may have to have a few drinks so I can sit through Jay's show just to see what happens. Will Jimmy flat out ask Jay "why the hell don't you just retire?" I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

The latest announcement in the shitstorm that NBC has created over their late night programming is NBC's head honcho, Jeff Zucker, has threatened to keep Conan "off the air for 3.5 years".

With this latest development, it seems clear to me that NBC knows it's fucking over Conan O'Brien and doesn't even have the decency to attempt an appearance of professionalism or basic human courtesy. Conan moved not only his wife and children across the country for this opportunity, but also was supported by staff also packing up and moving from NY to CA. I can't speak for you, but I can't really think of a single boss I've ever had that inspired such loyalty that would make me say "hey, I know, let's move thousands of miles from the home I've had for years so I can continue to work with you."

The letter that Conan penned, expressing his love for The Tonight Show, seemed to me to be genuine and heartfelt. I respect the fact that he refuses to go along with shitting on what is, ostensibly, an American institution of television. If Steve Allen, Jack Parr and Johnny Carson are watching all of this drama unfold from Heaven, I have a feeling they are all proud of Conan's determination to honor and respect the history of the show into which they all poured so much of themselves.

Some will say that Jay Leno isn't in any way responsible for all of this madness, that he was pushed out of the Tonight Show before he was ready to leave, etc. To those people I point out the following fact: both in this instance and in the 1992 Letterman situation, there are two commonalities - NBC suits and Jay Leno.

How can ANY entertainer, ANY potential television program creator, ever want to deal with a network that has shown, time and again, that it has no respect for its talent?

If you are on Team Conan, I propose the following: send mail (actual, old-fashioned snail mail) to Jeff Zucker at NBC. Conan is recognizable by his hair, so rather than just sending postcards, I propose we send hair products - pomade, mousse, hair gel, etc. You can get travel sizes if shipping costs are an issue. I propose this because letters and postcards are too easy to simply toss. Packages require manpower to open and sort through. Sound crazy? Hey, tell that to the fans of Jericho who got closure with more episodes by mailing 25 tons of nuts to CBS!

Fighting for that "Gratitude Attitude"

As you may or may not know, many years ago I created a website to reach out and offer peer support to other mothers who understood what it's like to experience PostPartum Mood Disorders (the main web page is at http://www.ppdsupportpage.com/ if you would like to visit, but I've not been great about updating it). I sometimes journal there, and the following is the body of my most recent entry. I thought it might be worth sharing here.

Hmm, shall I try to remember all the "disasters" that have befallen me since my last journal entry? In no particular order, my dishwasher died, my laptop had SMOKE coming out of it when in use and is now in pieces waiting for a part that my DH ordered from China or something so it won't be fixed for a while, and I guess the "big" one is that I rolled and totalled my car (which, by the way, was just paid off earlier this year) a mere four days before my 39th birthday. There were a few other smaller "oh crap!" things, but I think those are the highlights.

I'm still doing physical therapy for my foot/ankle injury and still having to deal with nerve damage issues. I do have some more feeling in the foot, but the feeling that has come back is all pretty much just pain. For example, the simple act of a light touch on portions of my foot (which would normally feel soothing or ticklish) HURT like crazy. Putting on a sock is sort of like ripping a reeeeeally sticky bandage off.

It's also prime time for me to have my big fibromyalgia flare-ups, which happens whenever the weather changes fairly drastically (so let's just say the change of seasons is more than just watching the trees do their thing for me). I've sometimes described fibromyalgia as being a bit like arthritis for the muscles, tendons and tissues of the body. I've also sometimes described the pain as feeling like someone's beaten parts of me with a bag of hammers. In other words, ouch!

DH still doesn't have a job, and I obviously am not suitable for the work force, so money is...well, let's just say I'm pretty much constantly on edge about all things money.

This week is a hard one because Friday would've been Daddy's birthday, and Sunday would've been my parents' anniversary (their 57th, I believe, if Daddy were still around). So that's on my mind.

Now, given alllllll this crapola, you'd think I'd be depressed as hell. Well, you'd be right...to a point. But today I changed the title of my journal to "Fighting for that 'Gratitude Attitude'" for a reason. I changed the title to reflect the way I want to approach the challenges I face.

I've got a lot to be thankful for, even in the face of all that's gone wrong in my life.

Yes, I totaled my car that we'd finally paid off. But when that wreck happened I was going with the flow of heavy traffic on the interstate at about 65mph. I hit something on the road, had a blow-out of my front right tire, went up an embankment, hit tree branches at the top, turned at some point, and rolled back down. My car landed on it's wheels, my right foot's toe wedged UNDER the brake pedal and the heel wedged on TOP of the gas pedal. The motor was still running and revved up, and I was now FACING thick oncoming 65mph interstate traffic. But I'd landed against a guardrail which prevented me from driving full throttle into oncoming traffic. My car was totaled, but aside from a bit of bruising from the seatbelt, bruising on my legs from the dash and steering wheel, bruising on my shoulder from slamming against the door, and general trouble from mid-back up...I was okay. I didn't hurt anyone else outside of my car, and I was alone inside of my car.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE. I could have left my children without a mother that night. When I'd told my DH goodbye that evening, it could have been the last time.

Sometimes I know my friends get a bit annoyed with me, because when I speak about anything that's gone wrong in my life, I almost always preface it by saying "it could always be worse". But if I ONLY thought about the bad things, I'd be miserable all the time (in spite of the fact that I'm a Prozac-for-life woman). Now, don't get me wrong - it's not always easy (and sometimes, on my bad days, not even doable). It can be REALLY hard work to shut down the "stinkin' thinkin'" that often circles around in my head. It can be REALLY hard to challenge the negative talk I sometimes give myself.

Some things are WORTH the hard work, and retraining my brain to challenge the negative, to strive to find the positive, is WORTH it.

Yes, my foot is painful...but I still have a left foot, and pain means I'm getting back some of the nerve activity that I thought might be gone forever. Yes, my dishwasher is broken...but I have two hands. Yes, my computer is broken...but I can get a little time on a computer elsewhere. Yes, I totaled my car...but no one was seriously injured or worse, including me. Yes, my house is messy...but I have a roof over my head. Yes, sometimes I feel lonely...but I can find a way to reach out to a friend or a family member or a neighbor or even a stranger at the grocery store, and if I can help someone else or brighten someone else's day it makes me feel better and a little less lonely.

I'm not always successful at it, but I'm fighting for it - fighting for that "Gratitude Attitude".

I hope you'll fight for that, too.